Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Emotions, and Our Joy

Approximately or pretty close to three years ago Beth and I went on a journey that neither of us will soon forget. Beth and I when we first met didn't have much thought to bringing another person into the mix over time that changed for us. We began to try to get pregnant and a few times including once   7 1/2 weeks in we were unfortunately at least three times probably more we had the unfortunate experience of losing each.

After much discussion and investigating on both ends we decided that we had love to give and we went on this journey! What a journey it was for us.

It started with a parenting course that was 5 weeks long every Saturday by the way Beth and I both believe that every person wanting or about to have kids should have to take this course.  Yes some of it isn't specific to new parents but a lot of it is. After that we had to get our house approved and ready for our child. In our case that meant turning our loft into an enclosed bedroom and getting things prepped. My mother-in law Bev found a handyman who she trusted and knew and his/hers bedroom became an enclosed space to qualify as a bedroom. After getting the home approved and even at times going to events that had adopted children at it. This was where some strong emotions could kick in because the amount of children at these events was eye-opening. I can recall one "adoption" party where I kept on seeing it looked like a 5 year old boy he once looked in what I thought was our direction. It turned out had two siblings and his social worker wanted them all to stay together. Another "adoption" party the "big" one where every single child and social worker attended saw us look at several kids as they played on bounce houses, got there face painted, and caricatures done. This is done yearly by Jordan's Furniture.

Let me fast-forward through our very first disclosure this occurred because a social worker at the annual "adoption" party actively was seeking a home for one of the kids in her case load. Neither Beth or I felt comfortable with her or even the child's background but we had never been to a disclosure before. After turning her down after some discussion between each other, and our worker I think both of us felt the process weighing on us.

In middle November of 2014 the process appeared was going to get us a child. Neal our worker came with all of a little boy's  information and without really being aware we had our second disclosure. I called his teachers, his pediatrician, and even his foster mom and on a Monday in early December we said yes to a little boy. Keep in mind both of us had experienced loss with miscarriages. The next three days we got safety items that would keep him safe then Thursday we got a call.

That Christmas wasn't a happy one for either of us and it was extremely hard as most around us were happy. It was Christmas a time for family and loved ones but we had just lost what we thought was our newest family member. After about two months I think both of us had grieved each differently.

Finally 2015 close to the end of school and our worker gave us our boy our Hunter. We couldn't be happier or more blessed. Thanks for reading.

A quick activity for the family or if you wish. It was done in our parenting class.

Shut the lights off, close your eyes, and imagine being a child who hears a knock on the door. A worker walks in and tells you grab your belongings you're coming with me. Right then right there take what's important to you. Try the activity without having any emotion afterward.